No man can order Harvest Grain Pancakes w/ fruit garnish (DN)
No man can share an armrest on a plane with another man
No man can call himself or another man "shawty"
No man can tell another man he needs to lick his lips
No man can be afraid of thunder
No man can ask another man to scratch a "hard to reach" area
No man can ponder putting a relaxer in his hair to make conrows easier to take
No man can give another man his own personal ringtone (SA)
No man can wear socks with the furry ball on the back
No man can wear Reebok Classics
Thank you
Friday, February 27, 2009
REAL Moral of the Story for Nursery Rhymes
Pray for me on this one. This is my version of the REAL Moral of the Story for Nursery Rhymes. Enjoy, comment, and dont judge me...haha!!
All around the mulberry bush
The monkey chased the weasel.
The monkey thought 'twas all in fun.
Pop! goes the weasel.
(Moral of the story, if you make a boy chase your weasel around the bush for too long, he will pop as soon as he gets in it)
Hey, diddle, diddle,
The cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon.
The little dog laughed
To see such sport,
And the dish ran away with the spoon.
(Moral of the story, if you get high enough you can see all kinds of crazy shit)
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again!
(Moral of the story, when you are on top people are willing to do anything for you, but as soon as you fall, niggas wont even help you get ya shit back together)
I don't want to go to Mexico
No more, more, more
There's a big fat policeman
At my door, door, door
He grabbed me by the collar,
He made me pay a dollar,
I don't want to go to Mexico
No more, more, more.
(Moral of the story, Mexican Police Officers take bribes)
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down
And broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.
(Moral of the story, if you chase Jill for that wet wet long enough, she’ll eventually fall on your crown)
Jack, be nimble,
Jack, be quick,
Jack, jump over
The candlestick.
Jack jumped high
Jack jumped low
Jack jumped over
and burned his toe
(Moral of the story, crackheads are fast)
This old man, he played one,
He played knick knack with his thumb,
With a
Knick, knack, paddy whack,
Give the dog a bone;
This old man came rolling home.
(Moral of the story, if an old man wants to play knick knack with his thumb then give you a bone, call Chris Hansen here
1-800-2-CATCH-A-PREDATOR
Little Boy Blue, come blow your horn,
The sheep's in the meadow, the cow's in the corn.
Where is the boy who looks after the sheep?
He's under a haycock, fast asleep.
Will you wake him? No, not I,
For if I do, he's sure to cry.
(Moral of the story, fags cry when you wake them up early)
Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker's man,
Bake me a cake as fast as you can.
Roll it, and prick it, and mark it with a "B"
And put it in the oven for Baby and me!
(Moral of the story, cooking crack is easy, make sure you mark your package so that everyone knows where to come back)
Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockleshells,
And pretty maids all in a row
(Moral of the story, Mary needs to shave that cooch…its got all kinds of shit in it)
Now have fun singing these to yourself all day!!!
All around the mulberry bush
The monkey chased the weasel.
The monkey thought 'twas all in fun.
Pop! goes the weasel.
(Moral of the story, if you make a boy chase your weasel around the bush for too long, he will pop as soon as he gets in it)
Hey, diddle, diddle,
The cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon.
The little dog laughed
To see such sport,
And the dish ran away with the spoon.
(Moral of the story, if you get high enough you can see all kinds of crazy shit)
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again!
(Moral of the story, when you are on top people are willing to do anything for you, but as soon as you fall, niggas wont even help you get ya shit back together)
I don't want to go to Mexico
No more, more, more
There's a big fat policeman
At my door, door, door
He grabbed me by the collar,
He made me pay a dollar,
I don't want to go to Mexico
No more, more, more.
(Moral of the story, Mexican Police Officers take bribes)
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down
And broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.
(Moral of the story, if you chase Jill for that wet wet long enough, she’ll eventually fall on your crown)
Jack, be nimble,
Jack, be quick,
Jack, jump over
The candlestick.
Jack jumped high
Jack jumped low
Jack jumped over
and burned his toe
(Moral of the story, crackheads are fast)
This old man, he played one,
He played knick knack with his thumb,
With a
Knick, knack, paddy whack,
Give the dog a bone;
This old man came rolling home.
(Moral of the story, if an old man wants to play knick knack with his thumb then give you a bone, call Chris Hansen here
1-800-2-CATCH-A-PREDATOR
Little Boy Blue, come blow your horn,
The sheep's in the meadow, the cow's in the corn.
Where is the boy who looks after the sheep?
He's under a haycock, fast asleep.
Will you wake him? No, not I,
For if I do, he's sure to cry.
(Moral of the story, fags cry when you wake them up early)
Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker's man,
Bake me a cake as fast as you can.
Roll it, and prick it, and mark it with a "B"
And put it in the oven for Baby and me!
(Moral of the story, cooking crack is easy, make sure you mark your package so that everyone knows where to come back)
Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockleshells,
And pretty maids all in a row
(Moral of the story, Mary needs to shave that cooch…its got all kinds of shit in it)
Now have fun singing these to yourself all day!!!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Man Law Monday
No man can wear a watch with a skinny band on his right wrist
No man can have an action figure collection
No man can wear dress shoes with the back or the toes out
No man can wear a sweater with no undershirt
No man can let the juice from fruit run down his mouth
No man can bend over in the shower...if you drop your rag...its just dropped, or try and pick it up like an eagle would its prey
No man can wear mid calf socks
No man can take a camera phone picture of John Legend at a concert
No man can wear a Tall T and boxers to bed
No man can have an action figure collection
No man can wear dress shoes with the back or the toes out
No man can wear a sweater with no undershirt
No man can let the juice from fruit run down his mouth
No man can bend over in the shower...if you drop your rag...its just dropped, or try and pick it up like an eagle would its prey
No man can wear mid calf socks
No man can take a camera phone picture of John Legend at a concert
No man can wear a Tall T and boxers to bed
Friday, February 20, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
With You (The Domestic Violence Version)
With You (The Domestic Violence Version)
Written and Performed by Tyler Dirton
Super Engineer B Scott on the Boards
Technical Assistance (LC)
http://www.imeem.com/people/Fq0vaGC/music/0ZELnsLB/chris_brown_spoof/
Written and Performed by Tyler Dirton
Super Engineer B Scott on the Boards
Technical Assistance (LC)
http://www.imeem.com/peopl
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Man Law Monday
No 2 men can watch the Grammy's together
No man can take ice skating lessons
No man's profile name on Myspace can begin with an *, ~, or # sign.
No man can put one finger up while excusing himself in church
No man can sit in the bed in his t-shirt, shorts, and socks while eating ice cream
No man can utter the phrase, "I'm addicted to (Insert Reality Show name here)
No man can suck his teeth in disagreement
No man can complain about the price of facial cream
No man can use his girl's Bath and Bodyworks products
No man can send you a text that looks like this: "wHaT's uP mAn, wHeN iS yOuR sUpPoSeD tO jUmP??
Thank you!
No man can take ice skating lessons
No man's profile name on Myspace can begin with an *, ~, or # sign.
No man can put one finger up while excusing himself in church
No man can sit in the bed in his t-shirt, shorts, and socks while eating ice cream
No man can utter the phrase, "I'm addicted to (Insert Reality Show name here)
No man can suck his teeth in disagreement
No man can complain about the price of facial cream
No man can use his girl's Bath and Bodyworks products
No man can send you a text that looks like this: "wHaT's uP mAn, wHeN iS yOuR sUpPoSeD tO jUmP??
Thank you!
Friday, February 6, 2009
HARDEST $H*T IN THE WORLD
HARDEST $H*T IN THE WORLD
The following are some of the things I think are the hardest shit in the world to do! Enjoy, comment, be good!
Opening a new CD
Not looking directly at a chicks titties when they bounce everytime she says a consonant
Talk to your mom on the phone while you're high, Mom: "Hey baby, how was class today?" You: "Yea the shoestrings in them joints was too long, so I just decided to tuck them in"
Pull Out
Get your drawers out of your ass in public
To tell someone that they have a white spit wedge in the corner of their mouth
Not to do the Harlem Shake for 3 seconds when you hear "Grindin" by the Clipse
Not to laugh when a grown woman rolls her ankle on the sidewalk
Not to look at the ball of meat on the back of a niggas ear that has encountered a bad earring day
To pour Muhammad Ali some of your Skittles
Thank You
The following are some of the things I think are the hardest shit in the world to do! Enjoy, comment, be good!
Opening a new CD
Not looking directly at a chicks titties when they bounce everytime she says a consonant
Talk to your mom on the phone while you're high, Mom: "Hey baby, how was class today?" You: "Yea the shoestrings in them joints was too long, so I just decided to tuck them in"
Pull Out
Get your drawers out of your ass in public
To tell someone that they have a white spit wedge in the corner of their mouth
Not to do the Harlem Shake for 3 seconds when you hear "Grindin" by the Clipse
Not to laugh when a grown woman rolls her ankle on the sidewalk
Not to look at the ball of meat on the back of a niggas ear that has encountered a bad earring day
To pour Muhammad Ali some of your Skittles
Thank You
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Man Law Monday
No man can have a beard and no mustache
No man can request a blanket
No man can turn up the volume on a love song when riding w/ other men
No man can ask another man to bring him something back from vacation
No man can ask another man what type of lotion he uses
No man can ask who won the Super Bowl
No man can open a phone conversation w/ another man with the phrase, "Whatchu doin?"
No man can ask another man if he wants a spot while doing squats
No man should know what ANTM means
No man can blow on his soup
Thank you
No man can request a blanket
No man can turn up the volume on a love song when riding w/ other men
No man can ask another man to bring him something back from vacation
No man can ask another man what type of lotion he uses
No man can ask who won the Super Bowl
No man can open a phone conversation w/ another man with the phrase, "Whatchu doin?"
No man can ask another man if he wants a spot while doing squats
No man should know what ANTM means
No man can blow on his soup
Thank you
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