Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Man Law Monday

No man can accidentally draw a flower while doodling

No man can doodle

No 2 men can have an inside joke

No man can be so happy that he runs in place

No man can put his foot up on the wait bench Captain Morgan style while spotting a male friend

No man can get the top of his ear pierced

No man can cross his hair to where his hamstrings touch his knee

No 2 men can have a non-business joint account

No man can have a job at Wet Seal

No man can take longer than 20 minutes to get dressed, and that includes showering

Friday, March 27, 2009

I Wonder...

This one is entitled "I Wonder"...because I wonder some crazy shit...enjoy!

I wonder what the Ice Cream man does in the Winter

I wonder if fish get offended when being compared to stank pu$$y

I wonder how people used to survive before toilet paper was invented

I wonder if the Chinese children that make our shoes know that they are selling for around $150

I wonder if Halle Berry's fart stinks

I wonder why Krazy Glue doesn't stick to the inside of the tube

I wonder if a chicken has actually ever crossed a road

I wonder if Barack curses people out behind the scenes

I wonder if bats know they have a Super Hero in their honor

I wonder if your loved ones that are up in heaven are looking down on you...while you masturbate

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Man Law Monday

No 2 men can plan a trip to the Caribbean together

No man can say "it's a beatiful day outside"

No man can cut his eye at another man

No man can know the phone # by heart to American Idol

No man can compliment another man on the whiteness of his teeth

No man can do a full body roll if dancing at the club (PM)

No man can use a picture of his favorite dress shoe as his profile

No man can have shorts or sweats w/ anything written on the ass

No man can sing into his body wash bottle in the shower

No man can sit with both knees up on the couch

Friday, March 20, 2009

You know you live in the hood when...

You know you live in the hood when...

You leave the porch light and TV on everytime you leave the house

You hate to turn on your kitchen light at night

Every girl's name ends in an "a"

You keep sandwich bags next to the sugar bowl because you know someone is coming to borrow some

You have more Kool-Aid packs in your cabinet than cooking spices and condiments

A Mother and Daughter are pregnant at the same time

Your corner store has more scratch off tickets than juice

Unfortunately the pizza man doesnt deliver "to that area"

You have carved your initials into your arm

The most expensive piece of furniture in the house is the X Box

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Man Law Monday

No man can drop something and say "oops"

No man can hug his pillow tight at night

No man can wear a single hoop earring unless you are Michael Jordan or a Genie

No man can ask another man to cook him his favorite dish

No man can say "I love being in the locker room"

No man can be mad that the show "Girlfriends" is no longer on the air

No man can complain about the way his feet look in sandals

No man can cry after watching Seven pounds

No man can own a dildo that doesnt smell like vagina

Thank you

Friday, March 13, 2009

Things That You Think to Yourself, But Never Say Out Loud!

You know what it is! Back like I never left. This week, Things That You Think to Yourself, But Never Say Out Loud! Enjoy!

"Dem niggas on Law & Order are smaaaart"

"I wonder how Crack tastes?"

"Did she just fart from her face, or did her breath just forget to take out the trash?"

"I know she's 15, but she got a big ol ass though!"

"I wonder what came first, pu$$y or fish?"

"Ohhh, is that hair growing out her mole?"

"Why are there so many handicapped parking spots, at the damn gym?"

"I should wash my balls, but she did say she was leaving in 5 minutes...fuck it I'm goin in"

"How do you actually get black elbows?"

"Damn that retarded kid looks retarded as hell"

Thank You

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Man Law Monday

No man can try on a pair of jeans and look at his ass in the mirror to see how it fits

No man can tell another man "come here, I got a secret"

No 2 men can do their "special handshake" at the club

No man can read another man's lips for too long

No man wear a bluetooth if it is dangling from his ear (BK)

No man can be on the Hollywood Diet

No man can let out only silent farts

No man can order Strawberries w/ Chocolate sauce

No man can shave his legs to his thigh to make his legs look good in shorts

No man can have hard nipples

Friday, March 6, 2009

When Was The Last Time

The following is entitled: "When Was The Last Time". Check me out and comment. Website coming soon.

When was the last time a black person told you they were about to get off the exit, and aint even left the house yet?

When was the last time you seen a health food store in the "black mall"?

When was the last time you drove past a cop and didnt tap your brakes, no matter how slow you were already going?

When was the last time you heard a 50 cent song you actually liked?

When was the last time you went to work/class and didnt log on to FaceBook or MySpace?

When was the last time you left your cell phone at home and didn't feel like you were about to have a heart attack?

When was the last time you were in a gas station on the "Rich" side of town and they sold Black N' Milds?

When was the last time you cursed out loud when you got a "Fwd this to 10 other people or Jesus will disown you" text?

When was the last time you saw a dude with a pen and paper gettin phone numbers at the club?

When was the last time you were web surfing and didnt click on the Midget Porn Pop-Up?

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Man Law Monday

No man can watch a football game and go "mmmm"

No man can request to have his scalp greased

No two men can have a snowball fight

No man can grab the remote off another man's lap

No man can have a conversation in the men's bathroom

No man can put "it's complicated" as their relationship status

No man can cup his hand when doing the celebratory butt pat during a game

No man can drive a Dodge Neon

No man can know directions to a gay club

No man can wear oven mits for more than 5 minutes at a time

Thank You