Thursday, May 14, 2009

Sex Positions

As promised, I call this one...New Sex Positions I Made Up (Female Version). Enjoy and comment.

Toilet Seat- Back in to sit on his face...then complain about the seat being up

Thighmaster- While getting eaten...squeeze the side of his head with your thighs and tell him to make a squeaking noise

Oil Spill- Drink 4 milkshakes...Ride him reverse cowgirl style...and diarrhea cha cha cha on his abs.

Pro Bowlers Association- Ride him as if sitting in a chair...put the middle 2 fingers of your hand in his nostrils and a thumb in his eye...then yell "Steeeeriiiike 3" ala Fred Flintstone

Tea Cup Ride-Tell him to lay flat...ride him and spin round and around until you cum...then hop off the bed and vomit in the corner

Swim Up Stream-Right before your man is about to climax...cover his hole wiith your thumb and whisper in his ear "Swim Up Stream"

Galaxy-In the 69 position...use your mates penis like an Atari joystick.. and his balls for buttons...and say "pew pew pew pew" as if shooting space ships

Car Wash- (Reserved for women over 40 or that have the sag from childbirth) While riding your man...dip your breasts in soapy water and rub them back and forth across his face

Sniper- Get behind your man, close one eye, look in his butt-hole, reach around to hold the barrel steady...then pull the trigger until it shoots the target (overboard I know, but I do it for yall)

Trick Flower- Tell him to put his nose by your vag to smell your "flower" then pee in his face and honk a clown horn

Thank You


No comments:

Post a Comment