No man can accidentally draw a flower while doodling
No man can doodle
No 2 men can have an inside joke
No man can be so happy that he runs in place
No man can put his foot up on the wait bench Captain Morgan style while spotting a male friend
No man can get the top of his ear pierced
No man can cross his hair to where his hamstrings touch his knee
No 2 men can have a non-business joint account
No man can have a job at Wet Seal
No man can take longer than 20 minutes to get dressed, and that includes showering
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
I Wonder...
This one is entitled "I Wonder"...because I wonder some crazy shit...enjoy!
I wonder what the Ice Cream man does in the Winter
I wonder if fish get offended when being compared to stank pu$$y
I wonder how people used to survive before toilet paper was invented
I wonder if the Chinese children that make our shoes know that they are selling for around $150
I wonder if Halle Berry's fart stinks
I wonder why Krazy Glue doesn't stick to the inside of the tube
I wonder if a chicken has actually ever crossed a road
I wonder if Barack curses people out behind the scenes
I wonder if bats know they have a Super Hero in their honor
I wonder if your loved ones that are up in heaven are looking down on you...while you masturbate
I wonder what the Ice Cream man does in the Winter
I wonder if fish get offended when being compared to stank pu$$y
I wonder how people used to survive before toilet paper was invented
I wonder if the Chinese children that make our shoes know that they are selling for around $150
I wonder if Halle Berry's fart stinks
I wonder why Krazy Glue doesn't stick to the inside of the tube
I wonder if a chicken has actually ever crossed a road
I wonder if Barack curses people out behind the scenes
I wonder if bats know they have a Super Hero in their honor
I wonder if your loved ones that are up in heaven are looking down on you...while you masturbate
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Man Law Monday
No 2 men can plan a trip to the Caribbean together
No man can say "it's a beatiful day outside"
No man can cut his eye at another man
No man can know the phone # by heart to American Idol
No man can compliment another man on the whiteness of his teeth
No man can do a full body roll if dancing at the club (PM)
No man can use a picture of his favorite dress shoe as his profile
No man can have shorts or sweats w/ anything written on the ass
No man can sing into his body wash bottle in the shower
No man can sit with both knees up on the couch
No man can say "it's a beatiful day outside"
No man can cut his eye at another man
No man can know the phone # by heart to American Idol
No man can compliment another man on the whiteness of his teeth
No man can do a full body roll if dancing at the club (PM)
No man can use a picture of his favorite dress shoe as his profile
No man can have shorts or sweats w/ anything written on the ass
No man can sing into his body wash bottle in the shower
No man can sit with both knees up on the couch
Friday, March 20, 2009
You know you live in the hood when...
You know you live in the hood when...
You leave the porch light and TV on everytime you leave the house
You hate to turn on your kitchen light at night
Every girl's name ends in an "a"
You keep sandwich bags next to the sugar bowl because you know someone is coming to borrow some
You have more Kool-Aid packs in your cabinet than cooking spices and condiments
A Mother and Daughter are pregnant at the same time
Your corner store has more scratch off tickets than juice
Unfortunately the pizza man doesnt deliver "to that area"
You have carved your initials into your arm
The most expensive piece of furniture in the house is the X Box
You leave the porch light and TV on everytime you leave the house
You hate to turn on your kitchen light at night
Every girl's name ends in an "a"
You keep sandwich bags next to the sugar bowl because you know someone is coming to borrow some
You have more Kool-Aid packs in your cabinet than cooking spices and condiments
A Mother and Daughter are pregnant at the same time
Your corner store has more scratch off tickets than juice
Unfortunately the pizza man doesnt deliver "to that area"
You have carved your initials into your arm
The most expensive piece of furniture in the house is the X Box
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Man Law Monday
No man can drop something and say "oops"
No man can hug his pillow tight at night
No man can wear a single hoop earring unless you are Michael Jordan or a Genie
No man can ask another man to cook him his favorite dish
No man can say "I love being in the locker room"
No man can be mad that the show "Girlfriends" is no longer on the air
No man can complain about the way his feet look in sandals
No man can cry after watching Seven pounds
No man can own a dildo that doesnt smell like vagina
Thank you
No man can hug his pillow tight at night
No man can wear a single hoop earring unless you are Michael Jordan or a Genie
No man can ask another man to cook him his favorite dish
No man can say "I love being in the locker room"
No man can be mad that the show "Girlfriends" is no longer on the air
No man can complain about the way his feet look in sandals
No man can cry after watching Seven pounds
No man can own a dildo that doesnt smell like vagina
Thank you
Friday, March 13, 2009
Things That You Think to Yourself, But Never Say Out Loud!
You know what it is! Back like I never left. This week, Things That You Think to Yourself, But Never Say Out Loud! Enjoy!
"Dem niggas on Law & Order are smaaaart"
"I wonder how Crack tastes?"
"Did she just fart from her face, or did her breath just forget to take out the trash?"
"I know she's 15, but she got a big ol ass though!"
"I wonder what came first, pu$$y or fish?"
"Ohhh, is that hair growing out her mole?"
"Why are there so many handicapped parking spots, at the damn gym?"
"I should wash my balls, but she did say she was leaving in 5 minutes...fuck it I'm goin in"
"How do you actually get black elbows?"
"Damn that retarded kid looks retarded as hell"
Thank You
"Dem niggas on Law & Order are smaaaart"
"I wonder how Crack tastes?"
"Did she just fart from her face, or did her breath just forget to take out the trash?"
"I know she's 15, but she got a big ol ass though!"
"I wonder what came first, pu$$y or fish?"
"Ohhh, is that hair growing out her mole?"
"Why are there so many handicapped parking spots, at the damn gym?"
"I should wash my balls, but she did say she was leaving in 5 minutes...fuck it I'm goin in"
"How do you actually get black elbows?"
"Damn that retarded kid looks retarded as hell"
Thank You
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Man Law Monday
No man can try on a pair of jeans and look at his ass in the mirror to see how it fits
No man can tell another man "come here, I got a secret"
No 2 men can do their "special handshake" at the club
No man can read another man's lips for too long
No man wear a bluetooth if it is dangling from his ear (BK)
No man can be on the Hollywood Diet
No man can let out only silent farts
No man can order Strawberries w/ Chocolate sauce
No man can shave his legs to his thigh to make his legs look good in shorts
No man can have hard nipples
No man can tell another man "come here, I got a secret"
No 2 men can do their "special handshake" at the club
No man can read another man's lips for too long
No man wear a bluetooth if it is dangling from his ear (BK)
No man can be on the Hollywood Diet
No man can let out only silent farts
No man can order Strawberries w/ Chocolate sauce
No man can shave his legs to his thigh to make his legs look good in shorts
No man can have hard nipples
Friday, March 6, 2009
When Was The Last Time
The following is entitled: "When Was The Last Time". Check me out and comment. Website coming soon.
When was the last time a black person told you they were about to get off the exit, and aint even left the house yet?
When was the last time you seen a health food store in the "black mall"?
When was the last time you drove past a cop and didnt tap your brakes, no matter how slow you were already going?
When was the last time you heard a 50 cent song you actually liked?
When was the last time you went to work/class and didnt log on to FaceBook or MySpace?
When was the last time you left your cell phone at home and didn't feel like you were about to have a heart attack?
When was the last time you were in a gas station on the "Rich" side of town and they sold Black N' Milds?
When was the last time you cursed out loud when you got a "Fwd this to 10 other people or Jesus will disown you" text?
When was the last time you saw a dude with a pen and paper gettin phone numbers at the club?
When was the last time you were web surfing and didnt click on the Midget Porn Pop-Up?
When was the last time a black person told you they were about to get off the exit, and aint even left the house yet?
When was the last time you seen a health food store in the "black mall"?
When was the last time you drove past a cop and didnt tap your brakes, no matter how slow you were already going?
When was the last time you heard a 50 cent song you actually liked?
When was the last time you went to work/class and didnt log on to FaceBook or MySpace?
When was the last time you left your cell phone at home and didn't feel like you were about to have a heart attack?
When was the last time you were in a gas station on the "Rich" side of town and they sold Black N' Milds?
When was the last time you cursed out loud when you got a "Fwd this to 10 other people or Jesus will disown you" text?
When was the last time you saw a dude with a pen and paper gettin phone numbers at the club?
When was the last time you were web surfing and didnt click on the Midget Porn Pop-Up?
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Man Law Monday
No man can watch a football game and go "mmmm"
No man can request to have his scalp greased
No two men can have a snowball fight
No man can grab the remote off another man's lap
No man can have a conversation in the men's bathroom
No man can put "it's complicated" as their relationship status
No man can cup his hand when doing the celebratory butt pat during a game
No man can drive a Dodge Neon
No man can know directions to a gay club
No man can wear oven mits for more than 5 minutes at a time
Thank You
No man can request to have his scalp greased
No two men can have a snowball fight
No man can grab the remote off another man's lap
No man can have a conversation in the men's bathroom
No man can put "it's complicated" as their relationship status
No man can cup his hand when doing the celebratory butt pat during a game
No man can drive a Dodge Neon
No man can know directions to a gay club
No man can wear oven mits for more than 5 minutes at a time
Thank You
Friday, February 27, 2009
Man Law Monday
No man can order Harvest Grain Pancakes w/ fruit garnish (DN)
No man can share an armrest on a plane with another man
No man can call himself or another man "shawty"
No man can tell another man he needs to lick his lips
No man can be afraid of thunder
No man can ask another man to scratch a "hard to reach" area
No man can ponder putting a relaxer in his hair to make conrows easier to take
No man can give another man his own personal ringtone (SA)
No man can wear socks with the furry ball on the back
No man can wear Reebok Classics
Thank you
No man can share an armrest on a plane with another man
No man can call himself or another man "shawty"
No man can tell another man he needs to lick his lips
No man can be afraid of thunder
No man can ask another man to scratch a "hard to reach" area
No man can ponder putting a relaxer in his hair to make conrows easier to take
No man can give another man his own personal ringtone (SA)
No man can wear socks with the furry ball on the back
No man can wear Reebok Classics
Thank you
REAL Moral of the Story for Nursery Rhymes
Pray for me on this one. This is my version of the REAL Moral of the Story for Nursery Rhymes. Enjoy, comment, and dont judge me...haha!!
All around the mulberry bush
The monkey chased the weasel.
The monkey thought 'twas all in fun.
Pop! goes the weasel.
(Moral of the story, if you make a boy chase your weasel around the bush for too long, he will pop as soon as he gets in it)
Hey, diddle, diddle,
The cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon.
The little dog laughed
To see such sport,
And the dish ran away with the spoon.
(Moral of the story, if you get high enough you can see all kinds of crazy shit)
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again!
(Moral of the story, when you are on top people are willing to do anything for you, but as soon as you fall, niggas wont even help you get ya shit back together)
I don't want to go to Mexico
No more, more, more
There's a big fat policeman
At my door, door, door
He grabbed me by the collar,
He made me pay a dollar,
I don't want to go to Mexico
No more, more, more.
(Moral of the story, Mexican Police Officers take bribes)
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down
And broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.
(Moral of the story, if you chase Jill for that wet wet long enough, she’ll eventually fall on your crown)
Jack, be nimble,
Jack, be quick,
Jack, jump over
The candlestick.
Jack jumped high
Jack jumped low
Jack jumped over
and burned his toe
(Moral of the story, crackheads are fast)
This old man, he played one,
He played knick knack with his thumb,
With a
Knick, knack, paddy whack,
Give the dog a bone;
This old man came rolling home.
(Moral of the story, if an old man wants to play knick knack with his thumb then give you a bone, call Chris Hansen here
1-800-2-CATCH-A-PREDATOR
Little Boy Blue, come blow your horn,
The sheep's in the meadow, the cow's in the corn.
Where is the boy who looks after the sheep?
He's under a haycock, fast asleep.
Will you wake him? No, not I,
For if I do, he's sure to cry.
(Moral of the story, fags cry when you wake them up early)
Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker's man,
Bake me a cake as fast as you can.
Roll it, and prick it, and mark it with a "B"
And put it in the oven for Baby and me!
(Moral of the story, cooking crack is easy, make sure you mark your package so that everyone knows where to come back)
Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockleshells,
And pretty maids all in a row
(Moral of the story, Mary needs to shave that cooch…its got all kinds of shit in it)
Now have fun singing these to yourself all day!!!
All around the mulberry bush
The monkey chased the weasel.
The monkey thought 'twas all in fun.
Pop! goes the weasel.
(Moral of the story, if you make a boy chase your weasel around the bush for too long, he will pop as soon as he gets in it)
Hey, diddle, diddle,
The cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon.
The little dog laughed
To see such sport,
And the dish ran away with the spoon.
(Moral of the story, if you get high enough you can see all kinds of crazy shit)
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again!
(Moral of the story, when you are on top people are willing to do anything for you, but as soon as you fall, niggas wont even help you get ya shit back together)
I don't want to go to Mexico
No more, more, more
There's a big fat policeman
At my door, door, door
He grabbed me by the collar,
He made me pay a dollar,
I don't want to go to Mexico
No more, more, more.
(Moral of the story, Mexican Police Officers take bribes)
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down
And broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.
(Moral of the story, if you chase Jill for that wet wet long enough, she’ll eventually fall on your crown)
Jack, be nimble,
Jack, be quick,
Jack, jump over
The candlestick.
Jack jumped high
Jack jumped low
Jack jumped over
and burned his toe
(Moral of the story, crackheads are fast)
This old man, he played one,
He played knick knack with his thumb,
With a
Knick, knack, paddy whack,
Give the dog a bone;
This old man came rolling home.
(Moral of the story, if an old man wants to play knick knack with his thumb then give you a bone, call Chris Hansen here
1-800-2-CATCH-A-PREDATOR
Little Boy Blue, come blow your horn,
The sheep's in the meadow, the cow's in the corn.
Where is the boy who looks after the sheep?
He's under a haycock, fast asleep.
Will you wake him? No, not I,
For if I do, he's sure to cry.
(Moral of the story, fags cry when you wake them up early)
Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker's man,
Bake me a cake as fast as you can.
Roll it, and prick it, and mark it with a "B"
And put it in the oven for Baby and me!
(Moral of the story, cooking crack is easy, make sure you mark your package so that everyone knows where to come back)
Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockleshells,
And pretty maids all in a row
(Moral of the story, Mary needs to shave that cooch…its got all kinds of shit in it)
Now have fun singing these to yourself all day!!!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Man Law Monday
No man can wear a watch with a skinny band on his right wrist
No man can have an action figure collection
No man can wear dress shoes with the back or the toes out
No man can wear a sweater with no undershirt
No man can let the juice from fruit run down his mouth
No man can bend over in the shower...if you drop your rag...its just dropped, or try and pick it up like an eagle would its prey
No man can wear mid calf socks
No man can take a camera phone picture of John Legend at a concert
No man can wear a Tall T and boxers to bed
No man can have an action figure collection
No man can wear dress shoes with the back or the toes out
No man can wear a sweater with no undershirt
No man can let the juice from fruit run down his mouth
No man can bend over in the shower...if you drop your rag...its just dropped, or try and pick it up like an eagle would its prey
No man can wear mid calf socks
No man can take a camera phone picture of John Legend at a concert
No man can wear a Tall T and boxers to bed
Friday, February 20, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
With You (The Domestic Violence Version)
With You (The Domestic Violence Version)
Written and Performed by Tyler Dirton
Super Engineer B Scott on the Boards
Technical Assistance (LC)
http://www.imeem.com/people/Fq0vaGC/music/0ZELnsLB/chris_brown_spoof/
Written and Performed by Tyler Dirton
Super Engineer B Scott on the Boards
Technical Assistance (LC)
http://www.imeem.com/peopl
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Man Law Monday
No 2 men can watch the Grammy's together
No man can take ice skating lessons
No man's profile name on Myspace can begin with an *, ~, or # sign.
No man can put one finger up while excusing himself in church
No man can sit in the bed in his t-shirt, shorts, and socks while eating ice cream
No man can utter the phrase, "I'm addicted to (Insert Reality Show name here)
No man can suck his teeth in disagreement
No man can complain about the price of facial cream
No man can use his girl's Bath and Bodyworks products
No man can send you a text that looks like this: "wHaT's uP mAn, wHeN iS yOuR sUpPoSeD tO jUmP??
Thank you!
No man can take ice skating lessons
No man's profile name on Myspace can begin with an *, ~, or # sign.
No man can put one finger up while excusing himself in church
No man can sit in the bed in his t-shirt, shorts, and socks while eating ice cream
No man can utter the phrase, "I'm addicted to (Insert Reality Show name here)
No man can suck his teeth in disagreement
No man can complain about the price of facial cream
No man can use his girl's Bath and Bodyworks products
No man can send you a text that looks like this: "wHaT's uP mAn, wHeN iS yOuR sUpPoSeD tO jUmP??
Thank you!
Friday, February 6, 2009
HARDEST $H*T IN THE WORLD
HARDEST $H*T IN THE WORLD
The following are some of the things I think are the hardest shit in the world to do! Enjoy, comment, be good!
Opening a new CD
Not looking directly at a chicks titties when they bounce everytime she says a consonant
Talk to your mom on the phone while you're high, Mom: "Hey baby, how was class today?" You: "Yea the shoestrings in them joints was too long, so I just decided to tuck them in"
Pull Out
Get your drawers out of your ass in public
To tell someone that they have a white spit wedge in the corner of their mouth
Not to do the Harlem Shake for 3 seconds when you hear "Grindin" by the Clipse
Not to laugh when a grown woman rolls her ankle on the sidewalk
Not to look at the ball of meat on the back of a niggas ear that has encountered a bad earring day
To pour Muhammad Ali some of your Skittles
Thank You
The following are some of the things I think are the hardest shit in the world to do! Enjoy, comment, be good!
Opening a new CD
Not looking directly at a chicks titties when they bounce everytime she says a consonant
Talk to your mom on the phone while you're high, Mom: "Hey baby, how was class today?" You: "Yea the shoestrings in them joints was too long, so I just decided to tuck them in"
Pull Out
Get your drawers out of your ass in public
To tell someone that they have a white spit wedge in the corner of their mouth
Not to do the Harlem Shake for 3 seconds when you hear "Grindin" by the Clipse
Not to laugh when a grown woman rolls her ankle on the sidewalk
Not to look at the ball of meat on the back of a niggas ear that has encountered a bad earring day
To pour Muhammad Ali some of your Skittles
Thank You
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Man Law Monday
No man can have a beard and no mustache
No man can request a blanket
No man can turn up the volume on a love song when riding w/ other men
No man can ask another man to bring him something back from vacation
No man can ask another man what type of lotion he uses
No man can ask who won the Super Bowl
No man can open a phone conversation w/ another man with the phrase, "Whatchu doin?"
No man can ask another man if he wants a spot while doing squats
No man should know what ANTM means
No man can blow on his soup
Thank you
No man can request a blanket
No man can turn up the volume on a love song when riding w/ other men
No man can ask another man to bring him something back from vacation
No man can ask another man what type of lotion he uses
No man can ask who won the Super Bowl
No man can open a phone conversation w/ another man with the phrase, "Whatchu doin?"
No man can ask another man if he wants a spot while doing squats
No man should know what ANTM means
No man can blow on his soup
Thank you
Friday, January 30, 2009
My Favorite Ni99az un the Whole Wide World
This goes out to all my favorite Ni99as in the world. A Ni99a comes in all colors, ages, genders, and backgrounds. These are just the ones that we all know and love. Enjoy
Da Ni99a dat feels like he has to talk to everyone on speaker phone no matter who is around
Da Ni99a dat pays for everything with a bag of change
Da Ni99a dat is always drunk and fed up with the stuck up women in the clubs You: "Man what's wrong w/ you? MFN: "Man I'm tired of these greedy ass chicks that come to the club and only want a baller, I asked her did she want me to buy her a drink, and she talkin bout 'nah I can't right now I'm with child, Bitch I aint buyin 2 damn drinks!!!
Da Ni99a dat does crack but always manages to get his hands on the newest shit
Da Ni99a dat works at the Black Wendy's that get's mad at you for ordering a "Special Made Sandwich"
Da Ni99a dat always has the New Jordans on but won't pay the $10 cover charge at the bar
Da Ni99a dat gets mad at old people when they walk to slow in front of them
Da Ni99a dat has sex w/ 3 different chicks a week but gets mad at his main chick for having too many male friends on MySpace
Da Ni99a dat was singing I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T hard as hell in the club, but waited 30 minutes to get in free, waited 20 minutes to get a free drink, then left and got smashed for 10 minutes...you guessed it...for free
Da Ni99a dat no matter what, always has a story that tops the one you just told. You: "Man I knew this dude back in college that jumped off the 2nd floor on campus into the pool, shit was crazy" MFN: Shiiiiiiit, I know this dude that could jump so high, I saw him grab a squirrel out a tree, on my momma!"
Da Ni99a dat feels like he has to talk to everyone on speaker phone no matter who is around
Da Ni99a dat pays for everything with a bag of change
Da Ni99a dat is always drunk and fed up with the stuck up women in the clubs You: "Man what's wrong w/ you? MFN: "Man I'm tired of these greedy ass chicks that come to the club and only want a baller, I asked her did she want me to buy her a drink, and she talkin bout 'nah I can't right now I'm with child, Bitch I aint buyin 2 damn drinks!!!
Da Ni99a dat does crack but always manages to get his hands on the newest shit
Da Ni99a dat works at the Black Wendy's that get's mad at you for ordering a "Special Made Sandwich"
Da Ni99a dat always has the New Jordans on but won't pay the $10 cover charge at the bar
Da Ni99a dat gets mad at old people when they walk to slow in front of them
Da Ni99a dat has sex w/ 3 different chicks a week but gets mad at his main chick for having too many male friends on MySpace
Da Ni99a dat was singing I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T hard as hell in the club, but waited 30 minutes to get in free, waited 20 minutes to get a free drink, then left and got smashed for 10 minutes...you guessed it...for free
Da Ni99a dat no matter what, always has a story that tops the one you just told. You: "Man I knew this dude back in college that jumped off the 2nd floor on campus into the pool, shit was crazy" MFN: Shiiiiiiit, I know this dude that could jump so high, I saw him grab a squirrel out a tree, on my momma!"
Friday, January 23, 2009
How????
You know what time it is...Comedy Corner time...enjoy and comment. New Day...same me! I just decided to write about some things I find funny in life.
How a stripper will wipe down the pole with alcohol but will let people throw dirty dollar bills right on their cooch!
How white men won't wash their hands in the bathroom but always want to shake hands when they meet you
How the response to a chick saying, "I'm on my period" used to be "Damn", when you get older the response is "Is it light or heavy?"
How Waffle House took advantage of the fact that poor people eat breakfast at all hours of the day. When was the last time you saw a nice car in the parking lot? I'll wait...
How a chick will get mad when you bust in their mouth, Her: "I said tell me when you are bout to cum. You: "I said...ahhhhhhh!!!"
How they found somebody in NOTORIOUS that looks just like Craig Mack
How older women keep their Carpel Tunnels brace on during sex like, "You goin bowlin after this or somethin?"
How little kids want to come up to you and show you their coloring book, and I'm like, "Man...this shit is gahhhhhbage, you all outside the lines and shit, you need to start over fam!"
How a homeless man can ask for money when he has on an iPod, "Yo, you can sell that and eat for a month"
How some girls still buy Apple Bottom Jeans when they should probably go cop them new Watermelon Bottom Jeans
How if somebody's car breaks down in front of you, you choose to curse them out instead of help!
How some chicks come to the club thinkin they fly and still have baby powder residue in the middle of their chest
How you are reading this at work/library/lab trying not to laugh out loud
How a stripper will wipe down the pole with alcohol but will let people throw dirty dollar bills right on their cooch!
How white men won't wash their hands in the bathroom but always want to shake hands when they meet you
How the response to a chick saying, "I'm on my period" used to be "Damn", when you get older the response is "Is it light or heavy?"
How Waffle House took advantage of the fact that poor people eat breakfast at all hours of the day. When was the last time you saw a nice car in the parking lot? I'll wait...
How a chick will get mad when you bust in their mouth, Her: "I said tell me when you are bout to cum. You: "I said...ahhhhhhh!!!"
How they found somebody in NOTORIOUS that looks just like Craig Mack
How older women keep their Carpel Tunnels brace on during sex like, "You goin bowlin after this or somethin?"
How little kids want to come up to you and show you their coloring book, and I'm like, "Man...this shit is gahhhhhbage, you all outside the lines and shit, you need to start over fam!"
How a homeless man can ask for money when he has on an iPod, "Yo, you can sell that and eat for a month"
How some girls still buy Apple Bottom Jeans when they should probably go cop them new Watermelon Bottom Jeans
How if somebody's car breaks down in front of you, you choose to curse them out instead of help!
How some chicks come to the club thinkin they fly and still have baby powder residue in the middle of their chest
How you are reading this at work/library/lab trying not to laugh out loud
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